Thursday, March 31, 2022

Governor De Santis Returns To Call of Duty Online After Instating "Don't Say Gay" Bill



Yet another installment in Florida's crusade into being the most backwards and absurd state in America, Republican governor and golden boy Ron De Santis signed the iniquitous "Don't Say Gay" bill, prohibiting any mention of homosexuality or transsexuality in the state's school curricula. Anyone with empathy is obviously deploring this flagrant affront to the progression of LGBT rights, but the bill has also been met with appraisal from other Republicans who are aiming to mirror De Santis's legislation, namely Texas. However, it's been noted that De Santis has returned to playing Call of Duty online after ratifying the bill, much too quickly for this to be a coincidence. 

"I didn't want to say this in front of the other Republicans, but I actually left Call of Duty because all the kids on there were calling me gay for being so bad at the game." De Santis commented. "Now that they aren't allowed to discuss gay people in school, they won't be so emboldened to insult me like that anymore".

Whilst a move like this from someone like him is hardly farfetched, LGBT folks are none too happy that they have to be dealt erasure just so an elected official can play video games without getting his feelings hurt by 5th graders. So much for not being snowflakes, right?

Floridian gamers are undeterred, though, as it seems. "Yeah no, we're gonna call De Santis gay even more than we ever did before", an anonymous person told The Forced News. One can suppose Ron won't be having a gay old time on his online lobbies after all. 

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