Gary Foster, noted influencer and promoter of quack supplements, has emerged from prior cancellation over incidents like sending unprecedented dick pics to female cohorts and conning customers out of their money. But he has an important announcement, and that is that he's done a lot of personal growth, especially since everyone has conveniently forgotten why they disowned him in the first place. He's ready to resume business as usual at whichever point he left off.
"It really did kill me inside when I was caught with my pants down, figuratively and literally. I hated how I lost the trust of my naïve-er, loyal customers." Foster commented. "I want it to be known now more than ever that I'm terribly sorry that you all found out what I was doing, and that I'll diligently be way more circumspect in the future. I can only hope that you can continue to practise turning a blind eye to my faults so we can enjoy a most wonderful rapport that I disproportionately benefit from."
Although Foster's apology expressed no amount of actual contrition, his rabid fan base felt a sense of rejuvenation as their saviour returned to give them their fill of whatever it was they saw in him to start with.
"To be quite frank, I couldn't care a smidgeon about anything Gary does in his personal life. He stimulates my minimal attention span and that's good enough for me." an anonymous fan of his told our reporter.
Muckrakers on Twitter and elsewhere were quick to try reminding everyone what Gary did and why he should remain cancelled, but their preachings fell onto deaf ears, it would seem.
Foster added "The lesson here is that we should always forgive and forget. But extra emphasis on the forgetting part."
